Moves in the prose I enjoy & why:
- "I have never seen anything like it:" -- An immediate beginning. Grounds us. Snaps us into his prose.
- "In the darkness a pipe glows like a firefly, wanes, glows again" -- A gorgeous image. A loneliness to it. The inclusion of the word "wanes" is perfect.
- What makes me want to keep reading is the way the narrator leads me through his world, the way he observes things that allow me to see and think of the world differently. Example on page two " I awake before dawn and tiptoe past the sleeping soldiers, who are stirring and sighing, dreaming of mothers and sweethearts." -- The part where he dips into imaginings about their dreaming is what makes it pleasurable.
- "I grow conscious that I am pleading for them." -- Wow! Wow! An amazing move. To tell us what he is becoming aware of about himself. To lead us through his own self realizations. Love this move, take note.
- End of paragraph on page six , narrator imagines the Colonel, "murmuring to his friends in theatre corridors between the acts." Wow. Zooming in to imagine something that specific is so effective. We immediately know something of the class difference between them, how the narrator thinks of this man, etc.. It is a vivid & unforgettable detail, we latch on to it. It is so specific that it can't be denied. The effect of "murmuring", we fill with doubt about him without realizing it.
- "A cricket stops its signing at my approach" Here is a narrator so in tune with the world around him. It also shows his heightened state of mind, his paranoia, he's so aware of his surroundings that he is noticing the change in a cricket's chirp.
- "or has the Bureau created new men who can pass without disquiet between the unclean and the clean?" Wow Wow Wow
- "I have even found myself..." Again, an interesting move, allows for a process of discovering the narrator with the narrator himself.
- "I guess at what passes in that room, at the fear, the bewilderment, the abasement" (24) Love the progression of the list. Fear, an emotion. Bewilderment, something more specific, something that builds after the mention of fear. Abasement, after fear and bewilderment, this one cuts deep, it cuts to the core of something very human, it is not a human feeling something, but a human being reduced, something is attacked in their spirit.
- Coetzee writes, "We are alone." page 33. Interesting to think of the effect noting 'we are alone' has. Immediately we become aware that they are alone, we are also aware of how much the character is aware of it. Attention to it is drawn in an undeniable way-- creates tension.
- In Part II he begins to describe his own body, always in words that evoke disgust or ugliness.
- "I detect in myself..." another way he allows us to see his thoughts, experience, etc.
- "The mother, bedraggled, thirsty, looks at me, wondering if I can be appealed to." -- How he imagines her thoughts here.
- "And abandon myself regretfully to the intoxication of anger." Interesting complexity here, a move made in the sentences, anger seems to be a rising, but he is falling into it.
- "The blunder hangs grotesquely between us." -- To give dialogue a characteristic- grotesque- in order to emphasize its affect.
- Page 64: how to summarize effectively, a whole complicated relationship.
Realizations:
- One reason I enjoy reading is to see how the character leads me through the world, the way he exists, the things he notices and thinks about the world. This perspective he provides is what makes reading a pleasurable experience. When writing, pay close attention to the way your character is inhabiting the world. Include the necessary in what they notice-- think about what that reveals about their state of mind/state of being/background/class/personality/soul/spirit.
On War:
- The line: " But Joll does not smile back. Before prisoners, it appears, one maintains a certain front."
- Interesting to think of how one does not reveal a smile before a prisoner. Not revealing anything to make one appear more human. How we go against our nature and inclination to connect with others and reveal ourselves in times of war. Makes me wonder if that forcing and pretending to be what we are not is what makes wars more possible. By forcing ourselves to act less human we allow ourselves to become capable of doing things that are not human.
- "If we are to be frank, that is what war is about: compelling a choice on someone who would not otherwise make it." This distilling, this simple way of approaching it, is interesting. And ugly.
- Page 58, speech.
- "Will we live to regret this blood spent so lavishly on the sand." 70
Compelling Dialogue:
- He has rhythmic dialogue, ex. page 5:
"What if your prisoner is telling the truth... yet finds he is not believed? Is that not a terrible position? Imagine: to be prepared to yield, to yield, to have nothing more to yield, to be broken, yet to be pressed to yield more! And what a responsibility for the interrogator! How do you ever know when a man has told you the truth?"
A few lines later, the reply, " First I get lies, you see-- this is what happens-- first lies, then pressure, then more lies, then more pressure, then the break, then more pressure, then the truth. That's how you get the truth."
Interesting parallel in the dialogue, interesting rhythm.
- "Look at me," I say.
"I am looking. This is how I look."
- "This is how I look" is interesting, draws attention to the particular way a character looks at the world, at why it is different, and the idea of certain people looking at things in a certain way.
- "Come, tell me why you are here."
"Because there is nowhere else to go."
-"Did you see me?"
"Yes we all saw you."
Paragraphs I chose:
- Page 23, towards the end, beginning with "I might cease to feel like..."
- I'm in awe with what this paragraph accomplishes. See notes in book, post it, etc.
- Page 27- only complete paragraph
- see post-it in book.
Words:
Obdurate: stubbornly refusing to change one's opinion or course of action.
Trammel: restriction or impediment to someone's freedom of action
Ponderous: slow and clumsy because of great weight/ dull, laborious, or excessively solemn.
- "I have never seen anything like it:" -- An immediate beginning. Grounds us. Snaps us into his prose.
- "In the darkness a pipe glows like a firefly, wanes, glows again" -- A gorgeous image. A loneliness to it. The inclusion of the word "wanes" is perfect.
- What makes me want to keep reading is the way the narrator leads me through his world, the way he observes things that allow me to see and think of the world differently. Example on page two " I awake before dawn and tiptoe past the sleeping soldiers, who are stirring and sighing, dreaming of mothers and sweethearts." -- The part where he dips into imaginings about their dreaming is what makes it pleasurable.
- "I grow conscious that I am pleading for them." -- Wow! Wow! An amazing move. To tell us what he is becoming aware of about himself. To lead us through his own self realizations. Love this move, take note.
- End of paragraph on page six , narrator imagines the Colonel, "murmuring to his friends in theatre corridors between the acts." Wow. Zooming in to imagine something that specific is so effective. We immediately know something of the class difference between them, how the narrator thinks of this man, etc.. It is a vivid & unforgettable detail, we latch on to it. It is so specific that it can't be denied. The effect of "murmuring", we fill with doubt about him without realizing it.
- "A cricket stops its signing at my approach" Here is a narrator so in tune with the world around him. It also shows his heightened state of mind, his paranoia, he's so aware of his surroundings that he is noticing the change in a cricket's chirp.
- "or has the Bureau created new men who can pass without disquiet between the unclean and the clean?" Wow Wow Wow
- "I have even found myself..." Again, an interesting move, allows for a process of discovering the narrator with the narrator himself.
- "I guess at what passes in that room, at the fear, the bewilderment, the abasement" (24) Love the progression of the list. Fear, an emotion. Bewilderment, something more specific, something that builds after the mention of fear. Abasement, after fear and bewilderment, this one cuts deep, it cuts to the core of something very human, it is not a human feeling something, but a human being reduced, something is attacked in their spirit.
- Coetzee writes, "We are alone." page 33. Interesting to think of the effect noting 'we are alone' has. Immediately we become aware that they are alone, we are also aware of how much the character is aware of it. Attention to it is drawn in an undeniable way-- creates tension.
- In Part II he begins to describe his own body, always in words that evoke disgust or ugliness.
- "I detect in myself..." another way he allows us to see his thoughts, experience, etc.
- "The mother, bedraggled, thirsty, looks at me, wondering if I can be appealed to." -- How he imagines her thoughts here.
- "And abandon myself regretfully to the intoxication of anger." Interesting complexity here, a move made in the sentences, anger seems to be a rising, but he is falling into it.
- "The blunder hangs grotesquely between us." -- To give dialogue a characteristic- grotesque- in order to emphasize its affect.
- Page 64: how to summarize effectively, a whole complicated relationship.
Realizations:
- One reason I enjoy reading is to see how the character leads me through the world, the way he exists, the things he notices and thinks about the world. This perspective he provides is what makes reading a pleasurable experience. When writing, pay close attention to the way your character is inhabiting the world. Include the necessary in what they notice-- think about what that reveals about their state of mind/state of being/background/class/personality/soul/spirit.
On War:
- The line: " But Joll does not smile back. Before prisoners, it appears, one maintains a certain front."
- Interesting to think of how one does not reveal a smile before a prisoner. Not revealing anything to make one appear more human. How we go against our nature and inclination to connect with others and reveal ourselves in times of war. Makes me wonder if that forcing and pretending to be what we are not is what makes wars more possible. By forcing ourselves to act less human we allow ourselves to become capable of doing things that are not human.
- "If we are to be frank, that is what war is about: compelling a choice on someone who would not otherwise make it." This distilling, this simple way of approaching it, is interesting. And ugly.
- Page 58, speech.
- "Will we live to regret this blood spent so lavishly on the sand." 70
Compelling Dialogue:
- He has rhythmic dialogue, ex. page 5:
"What if your prisoner is telling the truth... yet finds he is not believed? Is that not a terrible position? Imagine: to be prepared to yield, to yield, to have nothing more to yield, to be broken, yet to be pressed to yield more! And what a responsibility for the interrogator! How do you ever know when a man has told you the truth?"
A few lines later, the reply, " First I get lies, you see-- this is what happens-- first lies, then pressure, then more lies, then more pressure, then the break, then more pressure, then the truth. That's how you get the truth."
Interesting parallel in the dialogue, interesting rhythm.
- "Look at me," I say.
"I am looking. This is how I look."
- "This is how I look" is interesting, draws attention to the particular way a character looks at the world, at why it is different, and the idea of certain people looking at things in a certain way.
- "Come, tell me why you are here."
"Because there is nowhere else to go."
-"Did you see me?"
"Yes we all saw you."
Paragraphs I chose:
- Page 23, towards the end, beginning with "I might cease to feel like..."
- I'm in awe with what this paragraph accomplishes. See notes in book, post it, etc.
- Page 27- only complete paragraph
- see post-it in book.
Words:
Obdurate: stubbornly refusing to change one's opinion or course of action.
Trammel: restriction or impediment to someone's freedom of action
Ponderous: slow and clumsy because of great weight/ dull, laborious, or excessively solemn.
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